


pretty when you cry

by sycophantam



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Abuse, Kidnapping, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Stockholm Syndrome, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 03:51:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14127468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sycophantam/pseuds/sycophantam
Summary: Ryo had cornered him, mouth screwed in a tight snarl.“I’m taking care of you. You're only alive because of me. I am the most important person in your life, I am the only person in your life. Do you understand?”





	pretty when you cry

**Author's Note:**

> mind the tags, please. i've tried to put as many warnings up as possible. this is a pretty dark fic with a really messed up version of ryo who does really messed up things. if you'd like to avoid reading these horror elements, please don't read / interact to keep yourself safe, thank you.

He’s sixteen when he's taken.

There's a dark room, a moaning mattress that dug into his back, chains and complete darkness.  
He's hand-cuffed to the headboard by chains that won't even allow him to sit,and that makes his head spin a little.

Fear, cold. There's something dripping on a metal bowl to his right and that just makes it all worse.

He can't stay another second there, so he screams. Someone will hear him, he's sure of that. He can hear cars and trucks, so people passing by will surely hear him too. 

He screams until his throat is raw.

And then those seconds he was counting turn into hours, days, weeks? He can't hear the water dripping in the metal bowl anymore, lost his only way to keep track of time.

Maybe he fell asleep, because suddenly, there's silence. So deep that, even straining his ears there's nothing to be heard but his own ragged breath. He still can't see either, no matter how much he widens his eyes.

The slight smell of mold, the feel harsh metal around his wrists and the taste of blood on the back of his throat are his only company. 

For a minute, he entertains himself with the fact that this is like that sensory deprivation chambers he had seen on TV. And just as maddening.

\- 

Hunger. Thirst. His tongue felt like sandpaper inside his mouth and he kept slipping in and out of consciousness. How many days now? It hurt to think.

He screamed at his body to react, to properly open his eyes, when he finally heard a noise to the right. He had to close his eyes and squint when the door cracked open slowly and the room was flooded with light.

His heart beat crazily in his ribcage. They found him, he was going home.

“Please, please help me. Please!” He pleaded with his raspy voice, trying to find the strength to lift his head and take a good look at his savior.

He was spared the work when a handsome face hovered over him, a gentle hand caressing his grimy check. He didn't even realized he was crying until the stranger tenderly wiped the tears away.

“Please, help me.” He sobbed and the stranger smiled. And that was when he understood he was not going anywhere.

“Don't worry, Akira. I got caught up with something, but now I'm here.” He held a straw to the boy's lips. “I'm going to take care of you. You can call me Ryo.”

-

“Please, let me go.”

“You really need a shower. Did you have an accident while I was out?” Ryo raised a brow at him, walking to a old wardrobe and selecting towels and bedsheets.

“Why am I here? Please, let me out!” Akira pleaded for the tenth time, but his kidnapper didn't acknowledge him.

“What do you think about gold sheets? I think they go well with your complexion.” Ryo smiled at him, holding two shades of yellow for him to choose. Akira sobbed, trashing against the chains.

“Let me go! I don't care about the sheets, let me go!” He screamed hysterically, tired, scared. So damn scared. 

The sting to his face was startling, furious. The blow so strong his head was thrown back and he hit it against the wall. Akira moaned at the taste of blood were his teeth pierced his cheek.

A second later he felt cold, caring hands cupping his face, lifting his jaw to inspect the damage. He was too dizzy to react.

“See Akira? See what you make me do?” It felt like lips against his abused check, but the stinging was so bad he could barely feel anything. 

“Stop saying absurd things. I don't want to do this to you, so you have to behave ok?” 

Ryo's voice would be cooing in a different situation, now it just made Akira sob in fear.

-

Akira cried and sobbed all the way to the bathtub. And then some more, in shame, as Ryo stripped him down and used his own hands to rub soap everywhere.

It was humiliating, made so even more by the fact his hands were securely tied to his back and there was a cloth around his eyes.

He was sniffing quietly, sitting with his knees in the shallow water when Ryo's nonchalant humming finally got to him again. 

“P-p-please, let me go. P-p-please, I-I don't understand.”

Ryo's hand froze on his back. Akira could feel his nails sinking on his skin.

“Let's not talk about this. I am clear?” Akira sobbed, and Ryo’s grip on his hair tightened. “Am I?” He used the hold to shake Akira's body a little bit.

Akira couldn't work the words around the knots in his throat, so he just shook his head positively.

Ryo started humming again.

-

 

Ryo fed him, caring eyes looking down at him every time he raised the spoon to his mouth. His hands were chained to the headboard the moment they were back from the bathroom.

Udon. Soba. Gyoza. Every single time Ryo descended the stairs with that infuriating smile and some steaming bowl in his hand, Akira hoped for it to be poisoned.

It never was and he realized, after a few days, it never would be. He tried to refuse food a few times after that. A swollen eye that throbbed for days prevented him from doing it ever again.

-

“Look Akira, I brought you some cake.” Ryo dropped the empty bowl of soup and dug around a small box. The slice was skilfully decorated with fruits and dark chocolate and it made his mouth water. He clenched his teeth shut despite that.

“What's wrong, come on.” Ryo tried to feed him a slice of cake again and Akira turned his head away. He could feel a smear of icing on his cheek.

“I don't like sweets.” His voice was low, a little shaky, but the tone held some defiance.

Ryo was silent, and was if as the air got suddenly colder around them. Akira closed his eyes in fear, the tension high in the air. But, no matter what, that little rebellion felt much better then any melting chocolate against his tongue. He was losing power over his life and that felt as a little sweet victory.

“Yes you do.” Ryo's voice was icy. “I know you do.”

Akira gasped when a big hand closed unkindly around his jaw and made him turn. Gone was the indulgent, almost caring look. Ryo's glare was ice, harded with violence and possession.

“P-please!” He didn't even know what he was begging for, body convulsing to get away from the painful grip.

“I know you do. I've been watching you for months.” Ryo tightened his grip and brought Akira's head closer to his own. “I know everything about you. Don't lie to me ever again. Ever.”

Akira hated himself for the sobs and tears that crawled out his body without his permission. The feeling of having the upper-hand for once was absolutely not worth the heavy backhand to his face. 

Ryo went up the stairs and took the cake with him.

Akira cried himself to sleep in the complete darkness.

-

He felt stupid at the feeling of relief that washed over him when he saw Ryo at the door. Yes, it was not clever to have his captor mad at him, but that did not explain the guilt he felt when Ryo gently caressed his abused check.

“I forgive you Akira. I do.” Ryo kissed his temple and curled an arm around the skinny body.

The swirls of emotion inside his chest were just too much, so he closed his eyes and did not try to understand then. Instead, he just enjoyed not being alone anymore.

-

The day he bit Ryo was regretted for a long time.

Ryo had brought him a small TV, where they watched movies together every other day. He was still chained to the bed, but Ryo worked some pillows bellow his head so he could see.

It terrified him, but Akira was almost used to how Ryo would settle beside him all the time now, chastely kissing his forehead, cheeks and neck. He had tensed up at first, crying for Ryo not to do it, but it never escalated to anything more then the butterfly kisses.

That is why he pulled at his bonds and flinched when he felt something wet against his jaw. And even more when a leg was thrown over his hips.

“R-Ryo...Ryo!” His lithe body was suddenly covered by Ryo's rolling on top of him and he felt teeth teasing his earlobe.

When Ryo closed his mouth over his screaming lips, Akira acted on instinct. He sunk his teeth on the supple lower lip between his own with all his might, blood flooding his mouth.

He learned to control himself the hard way.

-

Ryo had yelped, tearing his mouth away from Akira. The pain that followed was something unimaginable.

Eyes like a winter strom looked down at him, the furious breath resounding in his ears. He screamed his throat raw yet once again, struggling against his bonds. There was blood running down his wrists and he couldn’t even feel it. 

Ryo had cornered him, mouth screwed in a tight snarl.

“I’m taking care of you. You're only alive because of me. I am the most important person in your life, I am the only person in your life. Do you understand? ”

He spoke of love and belonging and whatever else Akira couldn't make sense through the waves of agony that washed again and again over his entire being. Every thrust forward made his body slide up the mattress, until his head hit repeatedly against the headboard.

He closed his eyes and begged to pass out.

-

He woke up in the bathtub, the hands he knew so well gently cleaning his wounds with cold water.  
He gulped, but had no strength to fight, keeping his eyes low and trying to stop his limbs from shaking.

“I'm sorry, Akira. I didn't want it to be like that. I had it all planned out. But why won't you just behave? You're so difficult sometimes.”

Akira tried to tune out Ryo's voice, but the endearment made him sob. Crying, eating and sleeping seemed to be all he was good for now.

“Don't cry. You cried enough for today.” Ryo's hands dried the tear tracks on his cheeks and he did his best to stop. It only made it worse, sobs now uncontrollably leaving his mouth.

Ryo sighed and closed both arms around his torso, pulling him out of the bathtub. Akira cried out and tried to squirm away, only to end up on Ryo's lap, naked and vulnerable like never before in his life.

He waited for the blow that was sure to come, but felt a warm pressure against his lips instead. 

“It's okay Akira. I love you. I've got you, it's okay.” Ryo kissed him again and took advantage of a sob to work a tongue inside his mouth very gently.

Akira felt dirty. Abused. Loved.

-

The seasons had changed, his hair grew slightly more unruly, and some shirts Ryo got him didn't quite fit over the length of his torso anymore.

Akira wasn't sure how long he was down there, but was strangely pleased at the improvements in his life. He was no longer chained, could go to the bathroom alone and even bath when he pleased.

Ryo still insisted in feeding him, so he just ate spoonful after spoonful while speaking about the most mundane things.

And yet, when Ryo looked at him with sudden cold, lustful eyes, he was back to being that scared teenager again.

He had stopped screaming after the time Ryo almost suffocated him with a pillow, so he just laid there and took it, nails scratching Ryo's shoulders with all he had. He told himself that it was his way to make Ryo pay for the hurt and shame and had nothing to do with the shocks that made his toes curl.

-

His seventeenth birthday. Almost a year down there. He had gotten a bedside lamp, books, new fancy clothes, but never anything that could connect him with the exterior world. Only Ryo, always Ryo.

He had taken to accept Ryo's kisses. It was easier and safer. So, when a a mouth closed over his just after he woke up, he didn't question parting it to be invaded.

He was kissed for what felt like hours, mouth tingling and swollen when Ryo finally let up. Even the gentle peck after that was a little uncomfortable. 

“Happy birthday, Akira.”

The feeling weighting in his chest felt like guilt when he raised his head and closed his smiling lips around Ryo's full ones. Yet, he shrugged it off as nothing new. After all, why would he feel bad for enjoying Ryo's company?

When Ryo started to kiss down his chest, he could feel a pull inside his pants. Only then acknowledged the guilt.

No, it's wrong.

Why is it wrong? His mind chattered back. Akira just shook his head as a new feeling assaulted his body and he was prevented from any logical thoughts.

-

He was panting hard, both hands twisted on the covers as he watched Ryo's head bob up and down on his lap. The hands on his thighs spread him even wider and Akira's face burned in embarrassment. That was quickly tossed aside as Ryo deep-throated him. 

He couldn't think, couldn't find it in himself to shed any tears like he had been doing for the past year. He just arched his back and came for Ryo for the very first time.

As Ryo slept beside him later, Akira did his best to conjure the feelings of guilt, violation and abuse. He told himself that he did not have to squint so the stubborn tears would roll down his cheeks.

-

Later that year, Akira was carefully bundled up in a soft sweater and taken upstairs. He couldn't wipe the happy smile out of his face at the feeling of the chilling winter breeze on his face when he peeked his nose out a window.

“Don't do that, baby. it's too cold.” Ryo's firm hands closed and locked the window in place, but was sure to let the blinds and curtains open so Akira could appreciate the beautiful white covering everything.

He was carefully guided to sit on Ryo's lap in the couch and cuddle up to him. A mug of hot cocoa with marshmallows warmed his hands as they both enjoyed the flames of the fireplace.

Akira fell asleep to Ryo's voice talking about the first heavy snow of the year and Christmas plans.

-

He woke up to silence, warm and snuggled against Ryo's chest. He moaned low and tried to find a more comfortable position, rubbing his face on Ryo's shirt and lifting a leg to bring the thigh between his own closer to his crotch. He rubbed against it sleepily for a seconds and tried to decide if he had the energy to be horny right now. 

That was when something glinting on the coffee table caught his eyes.

A key. Ryo's key.

And everything came back to him.

Akira jumped up in horror, quickly freezing once Ryo moaned his displeasure and turned to face the back of the couch. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, form shaking violently.  
He had to get out, what was he doing!?

Akira got up quiet as a mouse, closing his hand forcefully around the keys to keep them from making any sound. He could scarcely breath as he made his way to the kitchen door, as far away from Ryo as he could.

He had to rest his forehead on the brick wall outside, right beside the open door. The feeling weighing down on him now was fear, he could name it. And it was even more terrifying that he was not sure if it was fear of Ryo or the outside world.

Yet, Ryo's groggy voice calling him from the living room spur him into action. 

He ran like never in his life, crossing streets after streets without looking back. His lungs ached, but he just pumped his legs faster and faster, desperate to get away from the nightmare his life had become.

A wail left his mouth when he heard a car turning the corner he just did. He ran faster and ducked behind a wall to run between the houses.

Akira climbed fences and jumped over benches, hid inside a dog house when a car went by slowly, headlights turned on high.

He wanted to cry in relief when he finally saw a train station ahead, he was going home. He could hide there until the trains were working in the morning, he could ask the guards for help.

However, he was just down the first couple of steps when a car screeched to a halt right beside him and Ryo jumped from the driver's seat, eyes murderous. 

Akira fell down the rest of the steps in his hurry, could feel the way the skin of his jaw split open, but just tried to keep going.

There were no words to explain his agonized scream when Ryo finally caught him, restraining him from behind, arms hooked around his. He trashed and cried desperately, just as he saw the last train of the night leave.

-

The beating was violent, filled with rage. He wished for the backhands again, the occasional hair pulling, the forceful pushes when he misbehaved.

But this was bad. He had screwed up, majorly. He cried out as, once again, Ryo caught his calf in a iron grip and pulled him from where he had curled on the corner of a wall. With him eagle-spread on the floor, Ryo resumed his treatment, viciously bringing the belt down.

He screamed in agony when the buckle cut the thin skin over his ribs open, trying to curl into himself once more. 

Crying for Ryo to stop didn't have any effect, so he just wailed and rolled away from the abuse, trying to form other words, to beg, to promise, to do anything so this would stop.

When he was still but for the shaking of his body, he felt the last definitive smack of the leather belt against his back. And then Ryo was on all fours over his huddled form, breathing in his ear.

“You belong to me.”

Akira curled up and tried to will himself to die.

“You belong to me.” Ryo's voice repeated fiercely. “You're mine. Say it.” 

Akira inhaled sharply and a sob left his tired body.

“Say. It.” 

He flinched in fear and shook his head in affirmation, tears he didn't even know he still had making their way down his cheeks.

“I'm yours. Just yours. All yours.”

Ryo's tension seemed to seep out of him slowly at his trembling words, breathing more regular and movements losing it's edge.

“Right. Right Akira. Mine.”

-

Ryo forced a pain pill down Akira's throat and rubbed the blood from his body with a soft, cool towel. He rubbed ointment all over his bruises with gentle, thorough fingers.

When he was done, he tucked Akira under the covers and combed his hair with his fingers all night. Neither of them slept, looking into each other's eyes.

-

Morning came and Akira forced his heavy eyelids to lift when Ryo's voice echoed around the room.

“You know you deserved that, right?” His voice was low, all matter of fact. It did wonders to his aching head, no matter what it was saying. But Akira was listening attentively and took a minute to mull over it.

Well, he ran away indeed. From someone who had cared for him for over a year. Someone who swore love everyday.

Akira closed his eyes and let out a positive murmur.

“I hate it when you make me do these things to you. I don't know why you do it.” Ryo brought him closer carefully and grabbed Akira's thigh to wind it around his hip.

Akira snuggled up and nosed Ryo's collarbone.

“I love you, but this is all your fault.” Ryo kissed his nodding head.

It was. How could he be so stupid, trying to run away from the one person that kept him safe, that loved him no matter what.

“So, promise me to behave from now on, ok?” Akira looked up at Ryo, raising a hand to caress his handsome face.

“Yes, I will, I promise. I'm all yours.”

Ryo smiled and they slept comfortably cuddled all night.

-

“Akira, I'm home.”

He smiled and dropped the bottle of cologne back on the bathroom counter. Combing through his unruly hair with his fingers one last time, he looked himself over in the mirror.

That new, intriguing smell delicately dabbed behind his ears would keep Ryo crazy all night looking for the source. They could go to the movies, dinner and then have a fun night rolling around in bed. The corner of his mouth twitched in glee.

Ryo caught him around the middle and laughed against his nape.

“Someone's excited for tonight,” The low voice sent a shiver down his spine, just as the inquisitive nose poking around his neck.

“Stop it, behave.” Akira turned around with a naughty smile and closed his lips around Ryo's lower one. 

He could sense Ryo's intentions from miles away when he was forced to take a step back. He hummed, smiled and twisted away from Ryo's hold.

“No way, mister. I'm coming of age today and really want to know how it feels to get wasted.”

Ryo caught him again and laughed on his neck. They wobbled together all the way to the garage door. Once there, Akira turned around in Ryo's hold, eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Will you take care of me, when I'm drunk and helpless?” His smile was anything but innocent, coy eyes looking up from under long eyelashes.

Ryo leaned down to kiss him once again, whispering against his lips. “When didn't I?”

Akira smiled and held Ryo flush against his body, just enjoying their closeness. Ryo once again buried his nose on his neck and Akira smiled, accomplished.

“I love this cologne. I love the way you smell. Love you.” A hickey, a mark for the world to see, a proof of his ownership. Akira shivered when he realized everyone would be able to see it. It made him proud.

A last peck, to seal a deal, to seal their love. 

“All mine.”

“All yours. Forever.”


End file.
